Here’s to Ripping Up Your Mother’s Day To-Do-List

Growing up, I used to imagine what Mother’s Day would be like for me, a girl with scars of sexual trauma and dysfunction.  I wondered if my world of masked super heroes and mystical fairies would somehow be tainted by the reality of my wounds.

If you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answer was undoubtedly easy. A mother. I looked forward to singing sweet lullabies and creating memorable bedtime stories.  I imagined baking cookies together and being lost in the perpetual aromas of baked apples, crushed cinnamon and melted chocolate.  I chuckled at the thought of playing hide and seek with my kids, and having them tearfully give up when they couldn’t find me in my coolest-mom-ever hiding place. 

But as the days went on, I found myself right back in the high-octane events of daily life.

So what about you?  It’s Mother’s Day weekend.  You begin your mental list of all the things you need to do so you can enjoy that one day that you look forward to doing absolutely nothing.  No cooking.  No cleaning.  No asking mom any question that begins with “Mom, can I…?”  Most of all, no last-minute running to the store to get poster board, toilet paper, or Tylenol.

The list begins…get groceries, schedule hair appointment, get nails done, get the car washed, clean the bathrooms, pick up gift bags and tissue paper, and on it goes.  Sound familiar?

You zone in and out on your to-do-list all while savoring the painful memories of how far you’ve come.  Your mind goes back to when you first became a mother.  You didn’t have nearly as many things on your list.  You wanted to prove to yourself that you could be a great mom despite the dysfunctional home you grew up in, or the childhood trauma.

You were content with getting to this point.  And as you imagined it, the birth of a baby changed everything.  So with the arrival of motherhood you embraced the possibilities of new hope, new wonder and new dreams.

When I look back at where I was and fast forward to where I am now, I can’t help but thank God for every small victory. Some days I feel like I am parenting blindfolded, and some days I just do it afraid.

Mother’s Day for me is a day to reflect on the giggles and bumps and joys that all began with a birthday.  It is a day that I hold tight to what matters most…love.  It is a collection of days that allow me to look back and clearly see that despite the pains and hurts in my life, I have still managed to give the best of me to ensure the best of another.  Love is the gift that continues to give no matter how old you are.

So this Mother’s Day I encourage you to rip up your Mother’s Day To-Do-List.  Take the apron off and put the organizer away.  Embark on a day (or two) filled with fun foods, dance-offs, karaoke, ice tray popsicles and tents made from securing blankets to bunk beds. Or maybe a long-distance phone call, conversations on a front porch swing, or a late night Hallmark movie. Enjoy this time of gratitude and laughter and unpredictable behavior. Mother’s Day comes once a year but the days and time you spend enjoying motherhood lasts a lifetime. 

What is your most memorable memory as a mother?