The Perfectly Hidden You

July 17, 2020.

Why are you hiding? The sun settles on your eyelids eagerly provoking you to greet the day. Only irritated, you turn over and bury your face in the pillow while haphazardly pulling the covers over your head. You nestle into the darkness. The morning waits for you, but you are comfortable in the clenching arms of the night. You are hiding. You are hoping and praying that it is all a dream. You are wrestling with the memories that left you panting and gasping for air.

I beckon you, step away from the dark. Let me introduce you to the light.

For many years I was invisible.  I had become comfortable hiding behind the girl that no one really knew. I was okay with people not knowing the intimate details of my life. Perfectly hidden in a world of chaotic dysfunction, I was that tree falling in an empty forest that didn’t make a sound.

Emotional healing requires time. You just can’t get over some things that have caused deep hurt. You can’t run away and hide from it either. You can’t wish it away or ignore it. You have to face it so you can properly heal. We all need opportunities to process our pain or grief no matter how complicated it may be. We cannot truly heal until we are able to face the things that we have learned to hide.

10 Things People Tend To Hide:

1. Their Past. 

Sometimes people hide their past because it’s too painful to remember. The sexual trauma, the spousal abuse, the miscarriage, the divorce, the addiction, the incarceration. No one wants to be reminded of the very thing they are trying to forget. However, it’s necessary to work through those memories rather than to be unprepared when facing the unknown.

2. Their Fears. 

We hide our fears because we don’t like failure. We don’t like rejection, and we don’t like the feelings surrounding these concepts. If we let ourselves down then we are ultimately left to deal with the agony of defeat. Thus we avoid certain tasks altogether. We put things off. We procrastinate. We hide from the very thing we need to confront. The healing process involves acting while you are afraid. It means bandaging and tending to wounds while you are still hurting. It is realizing that once a wound is healed, it won’t bleed.

3. Their Mistakes. 

Everyone makes mistakes but not everyone wants to be judged by their mistakes. Chances are, people are going to judge us. Yes, some are even going to hold that mistake in the back of their mind and every time they see you, they are going to remember that one thing. But chew on this—they are not God. You do not have to go around hiding your mistakes. You must be confident in knowing that your mistakes don’t define the person you are now. People judge from the outside. But thankfully, God looks at the heart.

4. Their Flaws. 

People tend to hide their flaws. Flaws are the things that we are insecure about. It could be our crooked teeth, our hair, an unattractive birth mark or mole, a skin disease, a limp, or an old scar. It could also be a personality flaw or anything that a person may see as an insecurity. We cannot accept what we continue to hide. We must learn to be okay with our imperfections and our flaws. If it is something that needs to be changed and it is within your power to do so, then do so. But don’t hide what’s not in your power to change.

5. Their Emotions. 

Expressing one’s emotions can be very overwhelming. Some people may want to react to their situation by crying or by being angry or upset, but not everyone can handle it. Some don’t want people to think they are overreacting. Others may just want to sit and cry without feeling the need to answer the 59 people who walk by and ask what’s wrong. It’s okay to feel this way but it is definitely not healthy to suppress one’s emotions. This will only result in delaying the healing process.

6. Their Beliefs/Biases. 

There are people who shy away from discussing their beliefs or biases to avoid criticism or insults. Some people believe that beliefs about religion, spirituality, politics or racial matters should remain private. Others hide what they believe because they are simply not comfortable talking about something that may bring controversy to others. If someone’s beliefs are a strong and central part of who they are, fear should not deter them or cause them to hide those beliefs. Learning to speak about things that are important is freeing. It also allows others to challenge why that person believes the way they do, which can lead to healthy reflective thinking.

7. Their Stress. 

People tend to hide the things that cause them stress. It can be stressful dealing with things like mental illness, marital problems, financial issues, and so forth. But it can be even more stressful trying to keep up a façade, or never seeking help, or wanting to confide in someone but feeling they can’t due to their own perceptions.

8. Their Weaknesses. 

Sometimes people are not confident enough to talk about their weaknesses so they hide them.  Some may know they have an issue with overspending, overeating, depressive thoughts or with self-harm, but talking about it just leaves them feeling worthless or inferior. Having weaknesses does not mean you are weak, it just means that God has something he can work with.

9. Their Health Issues. 

Many times problems that arise in a person’s physical health is the result of emotional stress. It is never comfortable having conversations about health issues but it may be necessary.

10. Their Story. 

There are many who have survived much and overcome much. There are those who have weathered many storms. They have slayed many giants. They have had so much thrown at them. Sometimes they look back and ponder how they even survived. Their strength is great, but no one knows who they are. No one knows their story.

Sometimes being visible is being vulnerable. It is embracing the “what ifs” and anxiously awaiting a silver lining.  Sometimes the best remedy for coming out of hiding is simply deciding to see what happens when you embrace the light.

Hiding can be exhausting. Stop hiding. You were meant to stand out. Accept your past. Face your fears. Learn from your mistakes. Embrace your flaws. Express your emotions. Discuss your beliefs. Speak with someone about your stress. Be transparent about your weaknesses. Discuss your health concerns. Share your story.

The Perfect and Beautiful You, is the You that refuses to be hidden!